We all love mistranslated menus and hilarious signs on holiday, don’t we? The main source seems to be SE Asia where funny Chinese signs have their own pages on Buzzfeed and get shared as much as cat pictures. But what about baffling signs from a small Antipodean English-speaking country?
The oddity of signs and placards in New Zealand are part of the charm of the place. I mean where else can you find a memorial plaque to a robin? (albeit a rare black robin that saved its species to extinction).
A memorial plaque to a black robin at Chatham airport, New Zealand.
New Zealanders adore signs. In a country as thinly populated as theirs, a sign seems to be a way of communicating to a stranger that, although you can’t see any hint of civilisation for miles around you, you can be comforted in the knowledge that someone sometime was also here and left a written message for you. In the form of a danger sign.
SIgn at the start of the climb of Paritutu rock in New Plymouth. The rock is the grand total of, ahem, 156 metres high.
But that is not the only reason. New Zealand is a right-on society like no other. It’s a place where the authorities don’t want any citizen to die a death worthy of inclusion in the Darwin Awards. They seem to feel a responsibility to protect the most stupidly suicidal person from dangers real, invented or imagined. Given that the country is the safest place on Earth in terms of wildlife (there is the katipō, a mildly venomous spider, and that’s it) theirs is an uphill struggle.
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- I presume the good people of the Caitlins who put this here mean that your underwear is in danger.
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- Thanks for the warning, Akaroa council
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- We want you to REALLY slow down here says the Chathams council.
Plus there is the renowned Kiwi humour which makes for some great signs.
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- Kiwi Humour in the Bay of Islands
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- Car registration number with a warning in Napier
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- Holy Cow is a burger joint and Board Stiff a surf shop in Lake Taupo
Some signs are confusing in the English-to-English translation
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- Judder Bars? Of course.
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- Don’t blow your nose too loud.
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- Kiwis don’t seem to carry large luggage.
Some signs belong to the “Are You Serious?” category.
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- Flood warning? Are you serious?
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- Worshippers at St Andrews in Wellington are asked not to bring any plutonium to mass. (Only fire and brimstone allowed).
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- The *what* championships in Oamaru?
Some signs remind you that in New Zealand places can double up for many functions.
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- A bar where you can have your hair cut.
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- Druids and Masons share a club in Christchurch
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- Should you feel like a game of Petanque while visiting Larnach Castle…
Finally, some signs are plainly baffling
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- At International Antarctic Centre, Christchurch
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- Somewhere in Auckland.
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- Erm, I don’t want to take crockery or cutlery or anything out of the Whare kai.
So go and enjoy New Zealand and its signs, because you won’t see any graffiti..
Signs are good, but graffiti no.
I would say at least you tried, but lets be honest
Sorry, I’m not sure what you mean..
Ah yeah the Paritutu rock walk in New Plymouth has actually claimed lives. So I guess the sign is maybe pretty worthwhile really.